:p I regret most of the content/jokes here. 40% of which are cringe-worthy. This is not a blog that I'd want my nephews/nieces ...or anyone to read, actually. but it's still up here because of sentimental reasons. The blog took a lot of time to build & I just don't have the heart to delete it. If you do find the jokes funny - I'm happy to know that they're entertaining. Otherwise, here's a more "proper" one http://coffee-choc.blogspot.com ...prob not as funny, mainly about chocolates and coffee and food & music

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Who on earth is Gareth Morgan? Can we really trust him with our Kiwisaver retirement funds?

Okay, we all know that Gareth Morgan is the TradeMe whizkid's Dad who made 47 million when his son sold TradeMe, but the fundamental question remains - Can we really TRUST him with our Kiwisaver retirement funds?

Babe, I wish I know the answer...but unfortunately, I don't.

I don't have any Kiwisaver investments to worry about - but I loath deception, I hate the despicable doings of Bernard Madoff and other swindlers like Nick Leeson, and I am very very worried about the possibility that Gareth Morgan might screw up innocent investors' hard earned money.
- and I just felt obligated to share my personal concerns with you

I'm not saying that he is a swindler. Heck, what do I know about his future plans? Maybe he really is a good guy. But,... what what what if he isn't? What if he turns out to be another Bernard Madoff?

My retirement funds (known as the EPF, or Employees Provident Fund) is managed by a government entity - not by a private banking institution or a one-man investment company like Gareth Morgan Investments

This is Gareth Morgan's photo:-
(Source: http://media.nzherald.co.nz/webcontent/image/jpg/Morgan_gareth160.jpg)












Here are some of the things about which struck me as rather odd:-

1) Gareth Morgan Investment's website seems to bear a resemblance to some scam companies
- cheap web design... yet the company purportedly has a sophisticated online login for the KiwiSaver investors
(this is just my personal opinion based on observation and simple common sense. You can choose to disregard my thoughts)

2) "Fan Mail from Life Insurers"
*roll eyes* Yes, GMI indeed has a "Fan Mail from Life Insurers" page

(Duh, gimme a break! I have a life insurance policy, PA (Personal Accident) insurance, travel insurance, automobile insurance, but the thought of being a FAN of insurance providers has never crossed my mind - not even once)



3) Sam Morgan's appointed as the Director of Gareth Morgan Investments
- & it didn't even make it to the news!
Who is Sam Morgan?
My guess is that he's either a brother or cousin or nephew, son or son-in-law of Gareth Morgan
So, in other words... Gareth Morgan Investments is what Malaysians would describe as a "Chinaman company"
("Chinaman company" is an informal term to describe family-owned businesses that the Chinese are famous for - for example... a company where the father is the CEO, & the aunts/uncles/siblings/kids hold key positions in the company)

(to be continued)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Playing with red colour CHICKeN B@LLS ;p

Well, this blog posting is very INNOCENT apart from the title ;p hehe.
It's just a story about red colour plastic chicken balls... and why I had so much fun playing with them - chicken shit & all... (blek)
Getting your hands soaked with smelly chicken balls, chicken "dark chocs" & pungent urine first thing in the morning isn't exactly a fairy tale experience.
But it's just something that you're happy do for the cute little chicks if you fall in love with them

And...how can you not love them? :)
They're just so cute.
I just feel somewhat unhappy thinking that these chicks will have little room to move about when they grow bigger :( 
& that they have to drink poo-infused water *sob sob*
Can you see the chicken poo on those balls?
Well, I tried rubbing off the poo from the chicken balls
But after 1 hour of laborious poo cleaning, I just thought, "Whak it, I'm gonna have to give up."
The plastic balls are for the purpose of raising the water level in small plastic cups where the chicks drink from.
 
The plastic balls are removed after 7 days- when the chicks have slightly longer beaks

The chickens get to live only 42-45 days...
before they end up in freezers and on your dinner table :(
How miserable!
The chickens die without knowing what good sex is all about
The males & females are separated by 3-ft high wooden planks :(( so that they can't get naughty

Nah... just kidding ;p
At 45 days old, they're merely babies trapped in adult bodies...
Actually, the purpose of separating the male/female is for easing the grading process. This is because the males are a bit bigger in size

Friday, August 21, 2009

Chilli & Ginger flavoured DArK ChoCx ;p (The King & Queen of Aphrodisiacs?)

I thought my Mum was being excessive with her use of Chinese traditional herbal aphrodisiacs like sea cucumbers and 'dong gwai'.
But none of her secret family recipes can compare to this combination of 3 powerful ingredients:-

 CHILLI
These are surprisingly yummy :))
 
GINGER
I prefer the ginger flavoured ones :))

Penis-shaped sanitary bin at Lumley Centre, 88 Shortland Street

Other articles: Condom-like stationery

Is the Lumley Centre owned by a Chinese Feng Shui enthusiast?
Not only is this funky office building located on 88 Lumley Street...
The sanitary bins also take on a very very very phallic representation ;p
Not sure if my wine connoisseur feminist friend Michele will approve of it ;p hehe
Why we suspect that Lumley Centre's owner is crazy about Feng Shui:-
1) 8 symbolizes "wealth" and "prosperity", according to the unscientific theories of Feng Shui
" 88 " is hence, a symbol of "double happiness", "double prosperity"

2) There are plants on every corner of the building.
It's almost like a mini jungle within a concrete structure

Cheeky Kiwi car plates :))

"The 5AINT
ALL DONE IN SAINTLY STYLE"
 
"GIVE ME YOUR LOVE"
 
I don't really know what "P SOUP" means :) hehe

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Economic Rationale of "Women's Bread"

Yes, Burgen's Soy-Lin bread's probably one of the yummiest and healthiest Kiwi bread that I have ever tried...
I love it!
But then again, if I'm a bloke, I guess I'd much rather be caught forgetting my zipper... than be seen eating "women's bread".
"For Women's Wellbeing"... sounds like a tagline for some PMS health supplements 
So, what's the economic rationale for marketing bread to "women" only?
Burgen Soy-Lin, I love every single thing about you
- the way you smell, the way you taste...
the way you look at me...;p

Well, I'm really hoping that Soy-Lin will remain on the supermarket shelves in NZ for as long as possible.
But for that to happen, the marketers would need to think of a more "inviting" tagline compared to "For Women's Wellbeing", like...
(err, I dunno) ... "Any gender can eat me" ;p

ok, what else?

"For Papa, Mama & baby"
"For your family's wellbeing"

You see, Soy-Lin's ingredients are pretty "normal" - flax seed, soy, sesame, & other nutritious but common high-fibre grains.

It's not like there are some "dong gwai" or sea cucumbers in it... So, the marketers really shouldn't claim the bread does miracle for women

Seen a "DEEP FRIED LASAGNA"??? ;)

Deep fried lasagnas are certainly one of the most fattening food on planet Earth.
Thank God it's just as wide as my right foot!
I have to admit that the oil-soaked, calorie-paked, breadcrumbed, mayonnaise & mince-meat filled pocket from "On the Run Cafe" tasted yummy...
But human-beings, please stay away from "deep fried lasagnas"!

If you happened to accidentally eat that stuff,  follow this Chinese detox diet religiously for the next 24 hours:-
Vege & chicken soup

ok...you may also try a less rigid Kiwi detox meal... :)
Beetroot, kumara ("sweet potato"), broccoli, carrots...

Gosh, I ate at this Korean place cuz the poster girls have big boobs? ;p hehe

Pass by the"Restaurant and Sake Bar" every day...
& while I was unimpressed by the plain and simple name, I couldn't help but salivate at the posters of Korean girls with huge boobs ;p
*slurp*
So, it is perhaps not too big of a surprise that I ended up eating at that Korean place located on upper Queen Street one day...simply because I found the poster girls too irresistible ;pp
Ah,... so juicy and tender ;p

By the way, I was referring to the Spicy Chilli Squid (below)
They're as spicy as Malaysian seafood "sambal"
YES, the food is surprisingly good:) 
The price range vs. food quality is highly reasonable - NZ$6-10.90 for a good medium-large food portion

Here's a photo of the exterior...
not very impressive.
- a very plain name
- letters missing from the restaurant name
- old, faded photos of food
It looks more like a strip club than a restaurant

But the interior is totally different :)
cosy, warm...always busy
It's one of the top favourite places among students in Auckland CBD
There's also a LCD screen for Korean commercial outside the restaurant
I like the Marilyn Monroe pose :)
Marilyn Monroe in the film The Seven Year Itch (1955)
(Image source: http://www.onlineweblibrary.com/news/moonro.jpg)

Of course ;) the Korean version of Marilyn Monroe pose wouldn't have been that good if it weren't because the poster girl has yummy looking......
;pp *slurp*

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Naughty Kiwi product packaging:))

"Aphrodisiac Chocolate" ;p by ToMC@t   ALLey
- "Makes you a TIGER in the bedroom"

















"Aphrodisiac Chocolate" is available at "The Sweetest Little Chocolate Shop" in the Atrium shopping mall on Elliot Street

Natasha recently bought a packet of QVS hair bands that has a condom-like description:-
 
 
Griptight :)))
TRY ME
I really hold!!!!

Please do not try that as a bedroom toy, unless you're prepared to inflict an unbearable numbness to the phallic area.

Why it's called a Cafff'e & "Salumi" Bar...


In a small little country that is famous for good cafes & wholesome food, Stark's Caff'e & Salumi Bar is probably the biggest embarrassment to the Kiwi food biz...
Stark's serves only salami or Salumi & other types of processed meat! - and pickled olives.
- Worse than fast food  ;p blek
Hundreds of unsuspecting tourists are fooled to dine at Stark's daily instead of trying the authentic local fare at cafes like Citron Vert or Ronnie's - because of Stark's unbeatable location.
It is adjacent to the Civic Theatre, on Queen Street.



Well, I wouldn't be complaining if it's not because the price of the sandwiches are the same as a good meal at Gengis Khan Mongolian BBQ Restaurant.
I also wouldn't be complaining if Stark isn't so obsessive with its use of processed meat and salty olives - that even an egg sandwich will have the "signature ingredients".
Really...if McDonald's is willing to offer some healthy choices to its patrons, why can't a 'high-end cafe' like Stark's offer simple & healthy food items like fresh chicken meat sandwich?

Well, I'm not saying that it's wrong to serve only processed meat in a cafe/restaurant.
But,.. a "Salumi"-ONLY place SHOULD NOT be occupying that good spot beside the Civic Theatre.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

New York nostalgia...

Anything (images, usually) that's to do with New York (including Lady Gaga ;pp) seems to render me a sense of nostalgia...

Hence, the green metal stairs of  Smith &Caughey's building on Queen/Elliot Street (in Auckland City) is undoubtedly one of my favourite sightings :) :)
 - it reminds me of NY apartments in films like Breakfast at Tiffany's... where Audrey Hepburn played guitar and sang the song Moon River while sitting on her window sill.
(Oh, I absolutely love the beautiful lyrics in the song Moon River :)) )

I guess I have always felt an uncanny sense of "connection" with New York because of the many touching love stories that are set in the Big Apple - Spiderman, Superman, King Kong...

Isn't it wonderful that in a huge sea of people...two individuals can mean so much to each other? :))))))
That's a very beautiful feeling :))))

Let's just talk about the less famous NY-films that you might want to watch some day:)
Serendipity

Serendipity is a 2001 romantic comedy, starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale.

(Source:Wikipedia)

On a bustling shopping day in winter, Jonathan Trager (John Cusack) meets Sara Thomas (Kate Beckinsale) when both try to buy the same pair of gloves at Bloomingdale's department store. Two strangers amid the masses in New York City, their paths collide in the mad holiday rush as they feel a mutual attraction.


Match Point

I have never seen Match Point before, but stumbled upon the NYC apartment sex scenes video ;ppp hehe - which, in my humble opinion...is very very appealing :))

Monday, August 10, 2009

D-I-Y Heart Sh@peD PumpKiN bOwL ;pp hehe

This yummy & cute gourmet dish requires only a microwave, an oven & fresh Kiwi or Aussie ingredients - which are available anywhere in the world, except that they cost 1/2 less the price here in Auckland ;)
Choose a juicy pumpkin with a nice "heart-shaped" hole in the middle.
Put it in a microwave dish & cook for 20 mins.
Scoop out the seeds
(You may keep the seeds aside for boiling broth cuz pumpkin seeds are rich in minerals :) and they're good for preventing prostate cancer & Erectile Dysfunction... Not that I have to worry about ever having ED. Being a girl is as easy as being a pumpkin. You probably just need a nice heart-shaped... Oh, I'm sorry. That's a bit too rude aye? ;p)

I digressed...
Anyway, put bits of chicken meat or whatever else you wish to have inside the pumpkin hole

Top it up with a generous amount of good Kiwi or Aussie cheddar cheese :)))

I'd recommend Bega Strong & Bitey Vintage & Bega Light - for the health conscious.
This is to reduce the amount of fat & yet retain the wonderful fresh cheddar cheese flavour.

You're most welcome to use the normal cheddar blocks if you wish and be assured that the recipe won't go wrong
Guess wot, these cost NZD$1.99 at Foodtown :)) *grin*
In Malaysia, Thailand and Singapore, Bega is almost like a luxury item - probably about NZD$5-6 for the same size
You can choose to put it in the fridge to be baked later...
Or you can bake it rightaway :)
- for about 15-20 mins on 200-250 deg. Celcius, depending on how "brown" you want the cheese to be.
I love mine slightly browned :), just like the the Strawberry-Pumpkin-Potato-Tomato-Onion-Broccoli-Beetroot Quiche

You can't possibly go wrong with this dish!!!
It's wayyy tooo eassyy

But if it does, go wrong, don't get disheartened ;)
Cuz...
 
 ...shit happens aye
The "shit happens aye" T-shirt is available at Supre on Queen Street, Auckland City.
Grab a piece before they're all gone!!! :)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

MAN - ;p hehe, that's what I need

I've spent all my life searching for a MAN of my own...
So, I find it hard to believe that I can now have more than one MAN
 
Gosh, I'm spoilt for choice...
 

Should I try a different MAN in the morning, while at work, when I take shower in the evening & before going to sleep?
 

Well, I'm quite happy being a one MAN woman :)
Love you, MAN :)

MAN is made in New Zealand by The Aromatherapy Company

Monday, August 3, 2009

Green colour Emu eggs? ;) I'd eat them if only they're a bit smaller...

This is the Greenest week I've ever had...
Yes, I've always supported Greenpeace & yes, I've always been a Greenie,  but sharing a lift with 3 other Green Prepaid Bags is a novelty!
Unfortunately, the bags didn't smell very Green.

They smelled like they're stuffed with rotten Emu eggs.
and...
yes, Emu eggs have Green colour shells
Yes, NZ Emu Eggs!

"$9.99 each"
"Yes! they are real"
"Yes! you can eat them"
 
(No, I don't believe they're real
I think they're hand-painted
Noooo, I'm soooo not gonna eat the Whaking Green Eggs)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

World's bigggest pear & smallest apple - found in Auckland

I decided to travel in NZ because I love berries :)
Well, it's winter at the moment and berries aren't in season.
But in the same week, I've eaten the biggest pear and the smallest apple I've ever seen in my entire life :)))
The pear is so huge that you can probably use it to attack burglars that break into your house
 
It even looks a bit like a whale! :)
  
It's called the P.Barry Pear
 
& this is the smallest apple I've ever seen :)))
 
It's even smaller than a really small kiwi fruit!!
I felt like a murderer eating such a cute little thing.
The fruits were bought from Boric Orchards.
Unfortunately, I was unable to find Boric Orchard's address online.
Now, if anyone knows the contact details of Boric Orchards, I need your favour to post it here. The family-owned orchard is a great place for fruits shopping :))
Let's support them, help them earn a decent income so that we can have more unique fruits in the future :)))
Hopefully, some of these fruits will make their way to supermarkets in KL someday :))